Recent DVD Buys

Here are some recent DVD buys that I've added to my collection.

The Human Centipede is a film that I enjoyed much more than I thought I would. It's one of those films that I think I'll watch over and over. Dieter Laser gives a fabulous performance as the misanthropic surgeon whose motivations are a little cloudy. Given the film's advance publicity, I'd convinced myself that it was going to be a mindless tale of tasteless excess. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I think some may be disappointed with how clean the whole thing looks.


Splintered is a the first full-length feature from director, Simeon Halligan. It's a British film that is part teen-slasher movie and part psychological horror. A low-budget affair with a talented cast, it does what it does very well. The basic storyline is that late-teen, Sophie and a group of friends go to rural North Wales where a mysterious creature is allegedly on the prowl. While on its trail, Sophie comes upon an abandoned building where she is captured and held in a cell by a strange man who claims he has locked her up for her own safety. Unfortunately, too much of the film takes place in darkness and the twist in the tale is a little disappointing. It's worth seeing, but it's a DVD that you'd probably rather rent than buy. 




Dead Cert has a number of well-known British actors (including Billy Murray, Craig Fairbrass, Steven Berkoff and Dexter Fletcher) in its ranks. It's a tale of gangsters and vampires that doesn't really work. The fight sequences often just look like set-pieces, the nightclub location that much of the story takes place in is too cavernous and the vampire aspect takes too long to come into play. This is a film that needed to have a more opened-out visage because it is badly hampered by its lack of locations. Disappointing.

Sex Lives of the Potato Men is often referred to in less than glowing terms. As a fan of 1970s British sex comedies, I'd put off seeing this film because it is often spoken of in the same breath by some critics - the same critics, of course, who deride 1970s British sex comedies. I relented and bought the DVD in a second-hand shop. The script is very crude, but I have to admit I was laughing out loud all the way through. It clearly does have similarities with those 1970s films, but I was disappointed that, unlike those films, Sex Lives of the Potato Men has no nudity. However, it's very funny and well worth seeing. One of the worst films ever? I don't think so.

Playbirds is, in my view, Mary Millington's best softcore feature film. In this 1978 British sexploitation classic, a murderer is stalking the girls who appear in Playbirds magazine. Mary Millington plays a sexy WPC who goes undercover into London's vice world in an effort to get herself into the magazine. Of course, the film is an excuse for endless product placement. The magazine was a real publication in which Mary appeared regularly. The film is very enjoyable for those who are into this genre. There is a cast of well-known British character actors alongside the glamour talent. the story is not up to much, but that's not really why you'd choose to watch the film in the first place. Lots of nakedness and witchcraft-related photoshoots, bungling police officers and, inexplicably, huge amounts of horse racing.

The Recovered is a confusing mix of dream sequences and nightmarish horror. The reason I got this DVD was because I am a huge fan of Tina Krause who plays the lead. Some of these low-budget films can be a little rough, but this is visually very well realised and the acting is pretty good, too. Tina Krause puts in a fine performance, as she always does, but the story is a little too puzzling for its own good.

Faces of Schlock comprises four short films. All have comedy-horror themed stories and they are introduced by the vampish Slutpira (Izzie Harlow) with some funny set-pieces. Of the four films, two of them, Blood Witch and Slay Ride are easily the best. Blood Witch has a young woman summoning a demon to do her bidding, while Slay Ride stars the wonderful Ruby LaRocca as a delinquent teen left alone at Christmas with a killer on the loose in the vicinity. I must admit that the main reason I got this DVD was for Ruby's appearance (I'm a big fan). The two lesser stories are Mike Wuz Here and One Foot In the Grave, both of which suffer from being dull and poorly acted. This is very much low-budget fare, so if you're not into that sort of filmmaking, you'll probably want to give this a miss.

Come Play With Me is something of a cult classic of 1970s British sex films. A coach-load of lovelies (including Mary Millington) arrive at an unsuccessful health farm. Things soon start to look up as the girls offer a variety of unclothed extras. Also staying at the retreat are a couple of counterfeiters (Alfie Bass and George Harrison Marks) who provide the "comedy". This looks very dated nowadays, but I still enjoyed it. It's a terrible film, but in a good way. One for nostalgics. The film has been remastered for this release and the DVD has some nice extras including a short film that also includes Mary Millington in the cast.

Confessions From the David Galaxy Affair is an absolute stinker. I bought this DVD for two reasons: the appearances of Mary Millington and Sally Faulkner, both of whom have little screen time in this dire sex comedy. Alan Lake plays David Galaxy, an astrologer who is the prime suspect in a police investigation. Lake puts in an abysmal performance that, even for films such as this, is embarrassing to watch. Also on the DVD is Queen of the Blues. This is also pretty dire. It's about a strip club that is subject to visits from a couple of protection racket heavies. Several strip routines are performed in between the "drama", but these sequences are so ineptly filmed (often in long shot) that they leave the viewer feeling bewildered and short-changed. Terrible.

Emmanuelle in Soho is very much from the fag-end of the British sex film era. Again, it's pretty terrible, but I still like it. It features the adorable Mandy Miller (aka Angie Quick) as the sexy lodger Emmanuelle in a household that is down on its luck. The couple with whom she resides try to make ends meet by the wife (Julie Lee) appearing in a nude revue, and the husband (Kevin Fraser) selling sexy pictures to an unscrupulous agent. The acting is uniformly awful, the comedy is dreadful and the sex scenes are very tame. But its sheer awfulness only adds to its wonder.